Growing a beard to beat the cold

Voice of Real Australia is a regular newsletter from ACM, which has journalists in every state and territory. Sign up here to get it by email, or here to forward it to a friend. Today's was written by Manning River Times senior journalist Mick McDonald.

Definitely not Mick McDonald. Photo: Pexels

Definitely not Mick McDonald. Photo: Pexels

The older we get, the less we can handle the cold.

True, we live in a relatively moderate clime, but this year, even though winter is only a few weeks old, we're feeling the chill like never before. This is probably something to do with climate change, just don't tell The Nationals that.

Unfortunately Struggle Street isn't the best of designations when the weather turns chilly.

We'd venture to say there are warmer places on Mawson Island then our forsaken abode. And with the surge in power prices, we're careful not to use the air conditioning too much. However, one more frosty night and we may have to consider burning the furniture.

Adding to the problem is the fact that this correspondent is folically challenged. We happened upon an old newspaper clipping just the other day, featuring a shot of this-then-young cadet reporter, boasting a healthy head of hair. We think it was from about 1903, or thereabouts.

Unfortunately that's just a memory now.

So keeping warm is definitely a worry this winter. Only recently we were at the windy Wingham Sporting Complex, on the NSW Mid North Coast, and once the shadows started creeping across the ground late in the afternoon it was no place for brass monkeys.

Why, we were even sporting a snappy and trendy scarf, but that didn't seem to make much difference.

So what to do? Stay home or in a nice cozy hotel until spring would be two options, although not particularly viable.

So we've come up with a solution. We think we'll grow a beard.

If nothing else, it'll help protect our ravaged face from the ravages of winter.

To be honest we've never really been one who has enjoyed shaving. Too many cuts too many times has made us wary of the practice. So, as Gough said in 1972, it's time for a change.

We have grown beards in the past. But back then they were always the one colour. These days the growth has a decidedly grey tinge.

But that's okay, for we've determined that it will make us look more regal, world-wise and stately.

Beards do present some problems, experience shows.

We just can't go all old growth forest for a beard has to be properly maintained for the sake of appearance and personal hygiene. We may have to enrol in a beard growing course at TAFE, for we're sure such a thing would exist.

So winter, we say, throw your worst at us. We'll be all rugged up and bearded ready for the challenge.

Regular comparisons with George Clooney will no doubt prove to be embarrassing, but we've no doubt we'll learn to cope.

So until summer we can bid adieu to the razor.

All in the name of winter warmth.

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